Rikki-Tikki-JAVVY!!!!!

I like to joke that I live in a ghetto.  I don’t REALLY.  I live in a city that does have many, many unsavory areas.  We, however, do not live in one of them.

Picture 353
My Shanty

That being said, I live on ¼ of an acre of property, which is considered sizeable for the ghetto, and my neighbors live close.  Because it’s a city, and because the houses are pretty close together, we don’t, generally, have much “wildlife” around.  We have the occasional rodent and my dog did kill the neighbor’s parrot (shhhhhhhhh!  Do NOT tell them) and  he has been plotting the death of a certain chubby squirrel, but that’s it.

dead-parr0t
Polly want a…Uh oh

At my Dad’s house he has everything.  Deer, squirrels, coyote, turkeys, elephants, foxes.. you name it.

Picture 001
My Dad’s Yard

At 5:30 this morning I let Javelin (The Weimaraner) out, while our Pitbull, Briscoe, peacefully slumbered, dreaming of marshmallows,  in his canopy bed (that little princess doesn’t wake until 11am).

briscoe sleeping
Do not disturb

When I opened the door, Javvy took off like a SHOT to the back corner of our fenced lot.

javvy hunter
I like to kill stuff.  So sue me.

I knew there was a hole in the fence in that area.

Briscoe, apparently, likes to sharpen his teeth on MY fence!   The  neighbors have put a piece of metal up against their side of the hole.  They have assumed Briscoe won’t chew metal.  The joke is on them.  He’ll chew it, digest it and fart it out within 45 minutes.

I heard the piece of metal fall but I assumed Javvy just knocked it over.  Next thing I see is a GIGANTIC raccoon- no joke the same LENGTH as Briscoe, who is, admittedly, shrinking, but still would make a HUGE raccoon if he had the proper wardrobe- climbing up a tree in my neighbor’s yard.  And then teetering along the tall picket fence next door and disappeared into someone else’s yard.

animal-picture-raccoon-wen-flickr-animalpicture
Oh.  Hi.

I look over and see my neighbor two doors down- apparently “waking and baking” at 5:30am- and I say to him “Hey, there is big old raccoon headed your way…”

Seth+Rogen+seth27
Got cheese doodles?

To which he replies “Oh. Yeah.  That one has 4 babies.”

WHAT?!

And you KNOW that Miss Raccoon will set up shop for her and her kids in our yard, right?

This incident reminds me of ANOTHER funny incident involving Tony and a cat.

Many years ago, when Tony and I were merely dating- before he was shackled to me like a recaptured fugitive on the run after killing 7 men in Texas, we were house sitting at a beautiful home in Essex, Connecticut.  The master bedroom had French doors leading out to the lawn.

The family for whom we were house sitting had a menagerie of animals.  Many dogs, several cats, birds, fish, a hedgehog, etc.  With the exception of the birds, all of the animals were nice and great to care for.   The birds would lunge at my jugular a every opportunity.  The cats went in and out but normally came in for the night.

American_Shorthair1
The Cats

ocicat

On a side note, one of their cats was mute.  It was sad, but funny at the same time.  He would walk around – mouthing- MEOW. 

One evening, I went to lock all of the doors while Tony went into the bedroom.  He yelled to me “Darling, the cat is at the door in here.  I’m going to let it in.”

cat-looking-in-window
Don’t make me degrade myself by having to knock

I continued what I was doing until his statement registered in my brain.

“Tone- the cats are all inside.”  I yelled.  I thought for a second… WHAT is he letting in the bedroom?!?!!?  I thought he was letting in some other cat that didn’t belong in THIS house.  And I thought to myself- I can’t imagine how hard it would be to get a strange cat OUT of a 6,000 sq foot hourse.  So, I RAN to the bedroom yelling “NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo!”

Thank goodness the doors were a little tricky to open because it was NOT a cat at the door.   It was THIS:

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Come on, guys!!  Let me in!

Apparently, they do not have raccoons in England.

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