A Rose by any other name…

My mantra, in general, is “I hate people.” And believe me, at times, it is warranted.

I am constantly amazed at the rudeness and cruelty I come across. Me? Yeah, I know, I tease and joke, and I judge … but anyone who knows me- truly knows me- knows that I would give a stranger the shirt off my back.  I am nice.  And many times, I get treated like garbage. One would think I would learn my lesson, but I don’t. I would rather give to someone and have them crap on me, and be able to sleep at night knowing I did the right thing than ignore someone who needs help.

That being said, when I see someone acting mean, I will call them out.

Today, something crazy transpired, normally I would say I’m speechless, but let’s face it, that rarely happens. Boy, oh Boy, do I have speech!

Of course, this stems from Facebook- or as I like to call it:  the root of all evil.  This afternoon, a “friend,” for these purposes let’s call him Dick (no offense to those named Dick or actual penises) – posted the following on Facebook:

“For today’s poll, who is more repulsive? Roseanne or Rosie O’Donnell? Feel free to vote.”

He then posted these photographs of them.

Ro and Ro

Ok, not the most flattering of either one. The photo of Roseanne is taken from her unfortunate performance of The Star Spangled Banner at a MLB game. Yes, it was horrible- I love my country and I thought it was disrespectful. BUT Roseanne has since publicly express regret and remorse for this “performance.” And actually sang the National Anthem again, nicely, to try to make amends.

The photo of Rosie… yeah, I can’t even explain it. It’s unflattering, sure. And she’s picking her nose… jokingly. But I defy you to say you have never picked your nose! But you probably haven’t done it on web cam, but I digress.

I was the first person to post a comment. I posted this:

“Why do you think they are repulsive?”

I was hoping that maybe he would say “These pictures are both gross.” Ok, I could have accepted that. As I said, they were not good pictures of either women.

A few other people chimed in saying things like:

“It’s a tie.”
“Rosie is a fat pig.”
“Roseanne is a disgrace”

You get the idea.

Then Dick posted that everyone should “you tube” Donald Trump vs Rosie O’Donnell. And that Roseanne’s performance of the National Anthem was disgraceful.

Everyone has feelings about Donald Trump. Rosie and Donald Trump argued publicly. Mean things were said on both sides, however, in my opinion, his attack of Rosie O’Donnell was ridiculous. He attacked her weight and her appearance and I consider those things to be low blows. Certainly Donald Trump is an intelligent man- he would not know such success if he was not. However, these types of attacks only show ignorance and make him look like a jerk.

A few more people chimed in that both are repulsive, etc.

Now, I’ve heard extensive interviews with both women and watched their shows. I know there is much more to both women than an ill-conceived singing performance and a web-cam nose picking. I felt compelled to comment.

Let me preface it by saying- these are my words, I stand by them. I knew it might cause an “issue.” But as I said, when someone is mean I don’t stand by quietly. Do these women need me- Kristin- a NOBODY- to defend them? No, they do not. But by the same token, the post was mean spirited, and thoughtless. I could have ignored it. But it was mean, disgusting and made me mad.

I posted this:

“Hmmm, let’s see which one is more repulsive…
Roseanne broke the “glass ceiling” for women in comedy. She’s been nominated for countless awards and employed hundreds of people for the better part of 10 years.

Yes, she sang the Star Spangled Banner badly, in 1990- an incident she has publicly expressed regret over. She has since sung the National Anthem- nicely at other baseball games.

Wouldn’t you love to have your nose, repeatedly, rubbed in a mistake you made in 1990- 23 years ago?

Roseanne lives, almost entirely, off the land, growing her own vegetables and fruit on her Macadamia Nut farm. What she doesn’t use, she donates to the poor in her community in Hawaii.

Rosie donated her $3MM book advance to start her For All Kids foundation to help institute standards in day care facilities across the US. The same foundation has given over $22MM in grants to over 900 non-profits, and helped local non-profits to assist people displaced by Hurricane Katrina.

When P&G announced she was the most “Un-kissable” celebrity, she donated donated bottles of Listerine mouthwash to her audience and donated $1,000 to charity every time a guest would kiss her- she donated more than $350K through that effort. Her “broadway kids” foundation benefits more than 4,500 teachers, students and families. She has donated $50MM of her salary to other charities, and has contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars to war veterans who have lost limbs in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Oh, and she has given a loving home to 4 adopted children.

Hard to say which is more repulsive.”

I don’t claim to know everything about either Roseanne or Rosie. I’m sure they have both made their share of mistakes and have regrets. But both women, pretty much, put it all out there. Both have had trailblazing careers. You may love them or hate them, but can you think of anyone who has changed “the rules” and not had supporters and detractors?

Shortly thereafter, whist on the treadmill, my phone “peeped” with a Facebook message from, you guess it: Dick.

Dick: I deleted it in your honor. Did not mean any harm.

Of course I responded.

Me: You didn’t “harm” me. Just thought it was mean. Don’t delete in my honor, delete it because it was not a nice thing to say.

Dick: It’s already gone. But, I still don’t care for them at all. Nice that they give back. Just find them historically obnoxious. 

Me: It’s obvious you don’t know much about either of them other than what they look like or a few missteps. Maybe read more about both and you won’t be so repulsed.

Dick: a few? ok. I’ll get on that.

Me: Ok, list their missteps for me and i would be happy to reconsider their repulsiveness.

Dick: I care not to waste time on such silliness. Have a nice evening.

Me: Silliness. The post said more about you than it did about them. Maybe consider that.

Dick: Wow! Apparently several others saw it for what it was, a joke. had a laugh and moved on. You make more fun of your husband than I did about them. Consider that. 

Yes, I do make fun of my husband. But I never say anything truly hurtful about him. And I never say anything that he would not say about himself. Furthermore, I tell my husband I love him a thousand times a day. I know I am lucky to have him and we are partners.

But Dick wasn’t finished with me. He decided to REALLY let me have it. He was REALLY going to show me the kind of person he REALLY is.

Dick: You are bounced. huge loss in my life. maybe you defend them because you are fat too. maybe you defend them because you are ugly too. maybe you defend them because you are a lesbian. either way, I don’t care. Grow up.

Obviously, I couldn’t respond because I am blocked. Boo Hoo. I’m not sure how I will be able to go on. How will I ever be able to live without his ignorant, homophobic rants? Good thing I have a blog!!!

Am I fat?  Yeah. Most people would probably say I am fat.

Am I ugly?  Maybe. But my husband tells me I am beautiful every single day.

Am I a lesbian?  Well no. But I have a lot of gay friends and let me tell you, they are amazing people. They are authentic and are living honestly. They have to struggle in life just to be themselves. They have to fight for the same rights as every other member of society. I love, admire and respect each and every one of them.

Do I need to grow up? Yeah, probably.

And I would rather be a fat, ugly, childish lesbian than to be an ignorant, hateful, superficial homophobe who gets off on being mean to other people.

I think we both showed our true colors.


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