Text Messages, when isolated, can be funny:

I haven’t posted in awhile.  I have some thing written, but am not certain they are funny.  They might be, but I need to mull it over.  So until my mulling is complete, I give you the following.  I went through the text message conversations between me and 3 or 4 of my friends.  While the full conversations are funny, I find single isolated texts to be rather amusing.  Perhaps you will too.

  • I REQUIRE tacos
  • Brandon Fernandez is getting a shellacking!
  • Just washed dog’s butt with a soapy washcloth.  It was awkward for both of us.
  • Maybe you will inspire a second book about horse tampons.
  • On the bright side, maybe she is just doing meth.
  • Hail Mary full of Butter.
  • You should be able to distract them with your tatas.
  • Texting like an illegal Mexican Immigrant is more challenging than one might think.
  • Poor James Brolin
  • Tell Dan to take his pants off.
  • I am in Victoria’s Secret… how do people wear this shit outside of porn videos?
  • I think I’m going to buy you an inflatable beard of bees for Xmas
  • She is drunk and on our couch
  • My application to hell was accepted in 1984 so it doesn’t get much worse than that.
  • I really wish he and she would start f*cking each other so they can stop junking up my wall.
  • She said you were helpful… which didn’t sound like you.
  • Does this mean I’m in a 4-some now?
  • Most problems are solved with a good log flume ride.
  • All life lessons lead back to The Brady Bunch.
  • We need someone heartless to tell her she is a constant complainer who brings everyone down.  We need a German to handle it.
  • Perfect… hopefully I will just be getting off.       My reply:  That’s what she said
  • As a reminder: You are gross.
  • If it makes you feel better, I hurt my back and can’t wipe my own butt.
  • That email made me want to pee in the plants.
  • From what I can see, your “drill” is out most of the time.
  • I only go down at night
  • I got macaroons.  But I see you tea-bagg’d your other hags.
  • You, normally, love a good rear-ending.
  • I woke up behind a potted plant.  I am missing a shoe and my hip seems to be out of place.

More to come….

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One Response to “Text Messages, when isolated, can be funny:”

  1. http://www.ufrb.edu.br/plugwiki/Usurio:ColletteD Says:

    Hi there, I log on to your new stuff on a regular basis.
    Your writing style is awesome, keep doing what you’re doing!

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